The world doesn't need another wanderlusting soul seeker.
The world needs a homemaker - me - to make my home within it.
- Hand Wash Cold, p.66
I have long held the belief that if an ideology, philosophy or religion only works in the proverbial ivory tower, if it doesn't work in ordinary life, then I'm not interested in it. There are weaknesses to this perspective, and in the process of holding this belief I've made my life incredibly ordinary. Then railed against the constraints I walked into. Enter Karen Maezen Miller's Hand Wash Cold, the best case scenario of an ordinary life.
In this succinct little book I am shown that ordinary life is indeed where I live out my beliefs, my spirituality, my dreams every day. There is no better place and time, no other place and time, to be me. This is where I practice again and again who I want to be and who I really am. In this drudge and minutia I do the good work of keeping life alive. I make a safe place for myself, my son, my relationships to other people and the world at large. Safe in the sense of true, of seen and heard, of real.
In this succinct little book I am shown that ordinary life is indeed where I live out my beliefs, my spirituality, my dreams every day. There is no better place and time, no other place and time, to be me. This is where I practice again and again who I want to be and who I really am. In this drudge and minutia I do the good work of keeping life alive. I make a safe place for myself, my son, my relationships to other people and the world at large. Safe in the sense of true, of seen and heard, of real.
The sun gives attention, and attention fixes everything. (p. 127)
This kind of presence - full, vital, and affirming - is attention.
The sun attends the earth and everything in it. (p.128)
Attention is the most concrete expression of love.
What we pay attention to thrives.
What we do not pay attention to withers and dies.
What will you pay attention to today? (p.130)
In its best sense an ordinary life is one of attention. These days I'm learning a lot about attention. I'm relearning how to give attention to my self. I'm drawn and challenged to be present and give good attention to my son. And as I root myself in these things, I am called also to give attention to my community and the world. I think that is where some of my more visible or public dreams will come true.
Nearly twenty years ago, in college, I was warned that I had the potential to be a great writer in the field of sociology but that I needed to get over my issues. I balked. Unable to receive the advice I retreated further into my issues and made a plain ordinary life of a day job and my family. The dream of writing bobbed into view from time to time over the years, but it seemed beyond the range of my ordinary life. Now I think back on those clumsy years and recall lessons about attention - to coworkers, my family, my own interests. Those are not lost years. And maybe, just maybe, the dream of writing is still ahead on my path, and a place and time where I will be able to share my attention further.
Nearly twenty years ago, in college, I was warned that I had the potential to be a great writer in the field of sociology but that I needed to get over my issues. I balked. Unable to receive the advice I retreated further into my issues and made a plain ordinary life of a day job and my family. The dream of writing bobbed into view from time to time over the years, but it seemed beyond the range of my ordinary life. Now I think back on those clumsy years and recall lessons about attention - to coworkers, my family, my own interests. Those are not lost years. And maybe, just maybe, the dream of writing is still ahead on my path, and a place and time where I will be able to share my attention further.
Well you know the way I left was not the way I planned
But I thought the world needed love and a steady hand
so I'm steady now
- Dar Williams, If I Wrote You
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