Last May I wrote a blog post about ten self care tools for living with Major Depression. Since then, my divorce piled more stress onto and into me and I retreated into my creature comforts (number 10 on my self care list). Life got too heavy and daily requirements took up so much energy and time, that my creature comforts - cigarettes and chocolate, mainly - felt like relief. They felt like comfort.
In recent weeks and months I've recognized that my primary comforts have become my addictions and have ceased to serve me. Now I serve them. I'm slowly inching my way back into other, healthier, comforts as well as revisiting my self care tools. More stress has actually climbed back up onto my shoulders since my ex lost his job but with this new awareness of what's good for me, a renewed consciousness of how I want to live, and with the help of the Beloved Therapist and Kind Naturopaths, I'm making better choices in how to comfort myself in difficult times.
On the one hand, hard luck is battering away at my comfort zone, forcing me into a bigger sense of what I can do, as a single mom, as a human being. On the other hand, I need some safe places to rest before the next big push of this life-changing labor. My body, through weight gain and adrenal fatigue, is shouting for my attention over the roar of change and stress. So where's the middle ground, the live-able pace, of these changes in my life? Where's the balance between transforming into a braver, stronger, more independent me and tending my needs for rest and care in the meantime?
On the one hand, hard luck is battering away at my comfort zone, forcing me into a bigger sense of what I can do, as a single mom, as a human being. On the other hand, I need some safe places to rest before the next big push of this life-changing labor. My body, through weight gain and adrenal fatigue, is shouting for my attention over the roar of change and stress. So where's the middle ground, the live-able pace, of these changes in my life? Where's the balance between transforming into a braver, stronger, more independent me and tending my needs for rest and care in the meantime?
I Googled a couple variations of the phrase "comfort zone" and came up with a lot of quotes, charts, and illustrations challenging people to push past or step out of their comfort zones. The main idea seems to be, "Life begins at the end of your comfort zone." (Neale Donald Walsch) I think I get it. My new life as an independent, healthy, soulful, single mom is on the other side of my previous comfort zone. I'm in an uncomfortable stage of stretching my cramped little life beyond the bounds of my old life. Eventually (soon?!) I'll get comfortable with new skills and expectations of life. Life as a single mom will achieve a new rhythm and make sense. Balance will be restored. (Until the next big phase of change.)
I don't think growing out of our comfort zones is as simple as "just do it." At least, I don't think that's the case for me. I need to grow in a sustainable, healthy way. In fact, I think that's part of what leaving this comfort zone is about, for me. Giving up my unhealthy comforts and developing new habits that can nurture me for the rest of my life. I'm learning to adapt to change, chosen or forced, in a way in which I hold and maintain my center in the midst of all the change.
Looking at my current situation as a process of growing out of a comfort zone is a useful lens for me. It shows me that I'm in a temporary transition phase - the current discomfort and stress won't last. It challenges me to see my own agency in the midst of things that feel beyond my control or like they're happening to me. It reminds me to continue to adapt. It prompts me to recognize what is changing and to choose how I want to change. It invites me to imagine my next comfort zone and grow toward that.
I don't think growing out of our comfort zones is as simple as "just do it." At least, I don't think that's the case for me. I need to grow in a sustainable, healthy way. In fact, I think that's part of what leaving this comfort zone is about, for me. Giving up my unhealthy comforts and developing new habits that can nurture me for the rest of my life. I'm learning to adapt to change, chosen or forced, in a way in which I hold and maintain my center in the midst of all the change.
Looking at my current situation as a process of growing out of a comfort zone is a useful lens for me. It shows me that I'm in a temporary transition phase - the current discomfort and stress won't last. It challenges me to see my own agency in the midst of things that feel beyond my control or like they're happening to me. It reminds me to continue to adapt. It prompts me to recognize what is changing and to choose how I want to change. It invites me to imagine my next comfort zone and grow toward that.
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